Coming Home – not as easy as I had expected
How do you readjust after 26 days on the trail?
I have experienced many mixed emotions and feelings on coming home after spending twenty five days on the Tasmanian Trail. My first instinct was to rest by laying about on the lounge all day and reading, I did exactly that on my first day home.
I can hardly believe that I managed to sit all day and read, I have not done this for many, many years. It was liberating and it also meant that I did not have to face the reality of being home, especially as I was reading about Robyn Davidson’s journey across the Australian desert in her book Tracks. I really did not want to face anything at all!
I took a break from facebook, twitter, emails for a full four days, wanting to crawl into a ball and forget about everything that I knew needed to be done and everything that I know will grab and pull for my attention as I move back into the responsibilities of everyday life.
I have started a list of the things that I think should be done and the list will grow as the weeks pass by, this is certain. My feeling right now is to do very active things, like gardening, landscaping, cleaning, moving our fence, building a deck. These things need to be done but I am unsure if they are a way of avoiding the other things on my list or what I should be doing, sometimes making this distinction is difficult in the midst of it all.
One thing is for certain, I miss the simplicity of living on the road where the only requirement of me each day was to pack up camp, walk from point A to B and setting up camp. I believe that the time out on the trail was necessary for me to do or should I say essential for me to do.
For the past number of years I have been following a direction in my life that degrading my soul. I realise now that I was trying to fit in, to do what I thought was expected of me and as always, because it is in my nature to do so, doing it with 100% blind dedication.
As I move back into activity and doing the things that need to be done I sense that simplicity and balance are the two areas I need to focus on. I want to take the time to contemplate what is important to me and act upon these. Now that I have completed my physical journey I feel that an internal journey is about to begin. To find what is true to me, discover what fits my soul, understand what I have to offer and move forward from these truths into the future weeks, months, years.
I have decided to read Leo Babauta blog Zen Habits and Joshua Fields Millburn & Ryan Nicode blog The Minimalists and make the time to consider my direction from this point forward. I don’t want to make light of the journey I have taken on the Tasmanian Trail, I want to look back on it with respect and action and allow the experience to help change and stimulate my life direction.
This is the hard part, the journey after the journey. It is so easy to slip back into old habits and distractions and change is difficult no matter how small or substantial. I have spent a month observing what was around me now it is time to observe what is in me.
I have come home physically and now I am finding my way home internally.
Have you made a change in your life? Have you come home? What was your experience? What was the hardest thing about making the change or coming home? What was the best thing about doing it?
Your comments and wisdom are welcome.
P.S. I will be continuing my Trail notes very soon, so please watch out for them. 🙂